Hey there.  Remember when I used to update?  It’s a damn good thing I started a costume of Selphie from FF8 and got back in the mood to play this, or it might have dwindled into full inactivity!  (I’m looking at you, FF7 blog, *bizarre noise*)

So we’re back.  Rinoa’s floatin’ in space.  I’m off to catch her after the longest cutscene in the dang game.  AND ALSO THE MOST BORING.

This is the most anticlimactic rescue ever.  Timer.  You kinda control how much you’re facing a tiny floating figure that gets closer and closer.  Then she just kinda…floats at the screen.  THEN YOU WIN.  …Really, Squenix?  Really?

Fortunately, now I’m on my way to getting the airship.  Which, I must say, is BADASS in this game, for lack of a better descriptor.  Seriously.  It’s all streamlined and looks like a big, red dragon.  That is just the ultimate in cool.

Awww.  Every once in a while I find myself actually liking Rinoa.  For instance, when she holds out her arms to Squall, bounces on her feet, and tells the confused young man that the space suit was in the way before, and she wants a hug.  That’s cute.  And something I would totally do.  I can relate, instead of just being annoyed by her.  Good job, Rinoa.  Applause for you.

“I need to know that I’m alive!”  she adds.  Hahahahaha.  I often demand hugs to know I’m alive after a near-death experience.

WHOOP THERE ARE ALIENS ON THIS SHIP.  SRY, RINOA.

Mm, fortunately these aliens are pansies I can kill in four hits.  Thank you, guys, for being such heavy hitters.  And by heavy hitters, I mean you’re doing 1000+ damage.  These aliens are seriously wizzeak.  I am thinking all this time chillin’ on the Ragnarok in space has made them weak and flabby or something.  MAN UP.  The humans are in town.

On second thought, don’t.  It’s much easier to just maul you.

Now, I have a strategy guide, yes.  And I use it to refresh my memory on what I am doing.  I therefore already knew that one must kill these stupid aliens in color pairs.  Runnin’ all over the ship, looking for the second purple one without killing any other colors.  …How in God’s name would you figure that out without a strategy guide?  Just kinda keep killing them until you realize there are doubles of colors?  That’s horrible.  HORRIBLE.

In any case.  I win forever.  Aliens are dead.

I think I just misread something Squall said to be “The only thing I want to do right now is Rinoa.”  Hurr hurr.

And now.  For running around trying to find items for weapon upgrading.  IT’S EXCITING STUFF.  Now where are those Elnoyles?

Not a very exciting post, but that’s today’s jaunt.  Hopefully I will post again soon, right?  Right?

Aaaand here I am on disc 3 after a very easy few boss battles.  …Naturally, like the genius I am, I forgot to draw Alexander.  Great.  Now I’ll have to get it at the end of the game.  Augh.  I hope he didn’t have any really good abilities I could use.

Alright, alright.  The weird little dragon fighting minigame was alright.  But more importantly, Laguna does a nice little pirouette when he changes from the costume into his normal outfit.  Nice work!  That’s very nice, sir.

And then the White SeeD ship is SO HARD TO FIND that I had to use the strategy guide.  I feel like a loser now.

Woo, Esthar.  Man, that is one confusing city.  And I don’t necessarily MIND the confusing layout, it’s just intimidating at first glance.  The shopping district there = win.  I greatly enjoy being able to buy every single magazine I am missing.

Anyway.  Esthar is done.  More or less.  Kinda.  Okay, I’m on the Lunatic Pandora.  This is such a bizarre part of the game.  And I am rather confused–I know that you have to fight things inside Esthar to earn items for weapon upgrades…but I haven’t run into the monster yet.  I don’t even know how much longer there’ll be monsters inside Esthar.  I’m terribly confused.  I NEED THOSE ENERGY CRYSTALS FOR, LIKE, EVERYONE’S FINAL WEAPON.  Grar, grump, etc.

It’s kind of fun to explore Lunatic Pandora after doing all that stuff as Laguna earlier in the game.  I mean, I KNEW it changed how the game worked later, but it’s still cool to see it play out.

Ahahaha.  It’s probably mean to keep running Squall into weird possessed!Rinoa…but it’s just hilarious to see him thrown against the wall.  It’s okay.  I’ve already got a suite in hell, so no big.

WOW.  Squall is so upset about Rinoa’s fate that he has tacked six exclamation points on to “GOD”.  EXCITING STUFF, FOLKS.

Alrighty, I’ll wrap up this post at last.  Probably more later tonight, haw haw.

I haven’t posted in a while because my internet has been sketchy at best, but I think it has settled down for the moment.

Long story short, I made it to Disc 2.  I kicked Edea’s sorceress-ing butt, and pretty much utterly destroyed Seifer before that.  Now I’m off to the missile base to stop them from a-blowin’ up Balamb, and then it’s time for NORG killing.  I don’t remember this game too well, oh no.

Oh, and Squall is level 60.  SICK.

Okay, I am in the base, messing with all of the Galbadians’ stuff.  And I am at the control panel.  Now, you can’t change the TARGET of the launch…but you can adjust the error ratio of the launch.  …The error ratio.  Yes, let’s set it higher so that it is less likely to hit our target.  Why would you ever need that on a control panel?  Why in God’s name would they set it higher than 0??  Oh yes, let’s just hope it hits them.  Now, yes, I have had someone explain why it might be there–longer range = higher inaccuracy and other such sensical explanations that I will not recount here (mainly ‘cuz I would most assuredly botch the retelling), but the game does not use it that way.  The game says “HEY; let’s put a really random, useless, impractical menu on this missile launch control panel so that terrorists can easily sneak on and make it all kinds of inaccurate when it launches!”  Go Squaresoft, go!

Still, it is kind of cute and interesting the way this game utilizes so many computer interfaces.  It really reinforces the technology in the game, which I feel sometimes gets thrown to the wayside when one is dealing with magic and summons and sorceresses and such.

Emo-fest now that everyone is locked in at the missile base.  I think my personal favorite reaction is Quistis’–”Squall… Why did you choose us? Did he choose us because he knew this would happen?”  Oh yes.  I am certain that Squall chose you three because he wanted you all to die.  That makes complete and utter sense, Quistis, way to reason things out.  Thank God Selphie is the voice of reason here.

Another point I’d like to make.  Wow.  Way to red herring us, game.  I mean, I am all for making the player think someone is dead and then having them triumphantly return…but…a whole HALF of your group of characters?  That’s just preposterous.  Obviously they didn’t die.  That’s just ridiculous to assume, and quite frankly, it is a weak assumption that the player will believe it.  Furthermore, way to make the explosion seem ABSOLUTELY inescapable.  At least make it a little less encompassing–then the disbelief and anger over making such an unbelievable plot point would subside somewhat.  Lame.

Okay, picking back up way later, ‘cuz my internet went down a good hundred more times, I have finished up all plot things up to…the Garden being mobile.  Since now is a good time to get it over with, I’m doing some of the sidequests–I visited the Shumi Village and got the Phoenix Pinion, I hunted down Odin (I admit to using the strategy guide to get to him first–my bad, but honestly I don’t mind using it for sidequests), and now I’m milling around the ruins fighting Tonberries so I can get King Tonberry.  If I can (and I don’t think I can), I’ll try for Cactuar after that.  If that doesn’t work, well, I’ll head on over to Balamb and pick up the plot once again.  That’ll be ANOTHER GF in my pocket.

I’d like to to be known that once you finally figure out how to properly use Squall’s limit break…it is FANTASTIC.  I have been getting 7 or 8 hits in lately, and he’s been using Blasting Zone for the finisher quite frequently.  This is making the Tonberry fights SO much easier.  On top of that, Diablos is doing 9999 to them (I thought it was a percentage-based attack…but I could be wrong), so I’ve gotten 10 killed with very little stress.  Woo!  10 more to go.  …Well, 9 now.

Almost all of my GFs are near completion with their abilities.  That’s a little scary.  I mean, Ifrit is already level 100 (why he has levelled so fast, I may never know).  Four GFs are finished, one is nearly done, and the other three are relatively new and low level.  That is messed up.  On the bright side, my stats are unbelivably awesome.  And I have a lot of fantastic abilities to use to my advantage.  I shall call this a win.

And now I have Tonberry.  Not the best GF at first, but its abilities are rockin’ once you learn them.  I shall get started immediately, as I am so wont to do.

Alrighty, I went back to do some plot and I got ankle-deep in the Garden battle.  But I have to make this comment.  Okay, Rinoa falls and is hanging off of the Garden.  It zooms up to Zell, who has to be a good 4 or 5 yards away from her–maybe more, I can’t judge distanaces at all.  And he just screams, “DAMMIT!  I CAN’T REACH HER!!”  …NO.  NO YOU CAN’T.  SWEET JESUS, your arms are, what, two and a half feet long?  Good God man.  I probably shouldn’t be laughing about it, but I totally am.

My internet was done ALL of today, so I got a lot done without blogging it.  Such as levelling everyone to at least 20, which in turn got Squall to 38 (and I got Irvine, who is level 13…sigh, more training).  You know, as much as I love the fact that each level is about 1000 points, it makes for very uneven levelling when you can’t take Squall out of the party.  So THAT’S why he reached level 99 in my old game before everyone else.

You know what is disappointing?  Diablos.  I remember now that I never really used him–perhaps because Demi is generally pretty useless?  Yes!  That is probably why!  Seriously, I need things that can do more than a certain percentage of an enemy’s health.  When any other GFs can do damage in the multi-thousands, it is highly upsetting to summon Diablos in all his glory and see him do 300 damage.  Ick.  And not worth my time.

Thank God I found that epic training spot on Shenand Hill.  Vysage, Leftey, and Righty (henceforth referred to as VLR because I’m a loser) are soooo worth the extreme damage and potential death.  Mmm, 900-ish EXP and 12 AP.  I am a training madwoman right now.

Wow, well, I got a lot more done, but my internet kept dying on me, and I don’t want to go back and describe everything I did, so instead I’ll just say that Squall is nearly level 60 and everyone else is much lower.  WHOOPS.  Silly levelling system.  Anyway.  I got Brothers, and now I am in Caraway’s mansion.  More when I pick back up.

Reading the lines aloud is probably all kinds of nerdy.  Right now, Rinoa has a nice voice.  If she turns annoying, it’s going to change right quick.

Anyway.  I’m listening to Rinoa explain the train plan.  I remember this being really hard the first time I played the game, but the last time I played it I aced it in one try.  Go figure.

Alrighty, took some SeeD tests to raise my level.  …Yes, I cheated.  So what, those tests are hard!  And I want money.  I feel this is okay.  Especially since I am SeeD level 29 now.  Sexy.

And then we fight Gerogero.  Zombie man.  The really deformed one.  I don’t even understand why he EXISTS.  But anyway.  He is carrying Zombie and Berserk, which means I naturally must draw and stock magic.  Unfortunately, he can cast Berserk, Blind, Slow, and Silence on party members.  Thank God you can draw and cast Esuna from him.  This would be bad, bad, bad if I couldn’t.

Okay, that’s enough suffering, guys.  Time for zombie re-death.  And with the boss’ own Double spell on Selphie (two Fira spells = 1200 damage in the face) coupled with Ifrit boosted to 140-something…it didn’t last long.  Unfortunately, NO EXP.  Thanks, FF8, thanks a lot.

Alrighty.  Squall is an emo jerk.  He goes to talk to the editor of the Timber Maniacs about the company and he starts talking about how the company has gone down the drain because people only buy the ‘battle series’ (whatever that is).  Then Squall stops listening and starts thinking about how it’s boring and typical when adults start “reminiscing about things they didn’t or couldn’t do” then the screen blacks out as a transition and a little thought bubble comes up: “…I hate it.”  WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE.  Could you be a little more melodramatic, Squall?  I don’t think it’s gotten much past the top half of the bone in my skull, thanks.

Eh, not much writing tonight.  But I did watch Seifer turn into an EVIL loserface, rejoined with Quistis, set off on a train, got through a whole Laguna sequence (in which I am pretty sure I set all the right traps for later in the game), and now I am face to face with Galbadia Garden.  But first, I HEAVILY need to train my party.  Squall is level 26, and everyone else is below 20 (Rinoa is the lowest at 11).  This needs to be rectified.

I shall pick up again tomorrow, more than likely.

I think my titles get more and more obscure as I write.

Why do half of the people in this game walk with such a slow, dragging pace?  I mean, they take one quick step and then practically pull the other foot forward as if it were attached to some kind of weight.  It’s very strange.  If I am not mistaken, it is similar to how the Sims walk.  Actually, a lot of the character actions in this game remind me of the Sims.  Peculiar.

Okay.  It was out of my chosen character to agree to work on the Garden Festival Committee, yes, but…I am curious.  I can’t remember what that actually entails, if anything, so I might as well.

RINOA.  Who is randomly there.  Wait, I remember why she’s there.  I do think she is kind of cute and funny in the way she spots Squall from across the room and asks for a dance–which he totally doesn’t seem to get–so she walks over like, “gosh, what an idiot…an adorable idiot, ♥”.  I hope she isn’t as annoying as I remember her being.  It’s nice when the main love interest isn’t boring.  …Darn.  The whole “You’re-going-to-like-me…” thing is really just that side of annoying.  She’d better improve.  That’s awful.

AHAHA.  Okay.  She drags him onto the dancefloor while hes still holding his glass.  Where did it go?  Did he drop it?  It is no longer in his hand.

Okay, but the dance is adorable.  Squall has no idea, and she is just so determined to make him stay and learn.  I think it’s cute how much she wants to dance with him, and how nervous he is (especially considering how much of a jerk he is).  I dunno.  Perhaps if she didn’t talk she would be likeable.  Her design is actually really cool, and her actions are cute.

And then Quistis shows up, in her adventurin’ gear for some strange reason, to tell Squall that his dance was perfect.  …Did she watch him at all?  He tripped over his own feet a good twenty times.  He practically headbutted Rinoa at one point.  He only danced well at the very end.  Evidently she was too busy not paying attention until that point.  Wow, some friend you are.  And then she just stands there staring at him while he looks off the edge of the balcony.  …Is it just me, or is she actually really creepy?  I know her motivation for most of her actions toward Squall, but…she is mostly just seeming like a stalker right now.

“So you’ll dance with someone you don’t even know, but you can’t stand being around me?”  God, I couldn’t either.  Calm down.

I really wish Squall would stay in his student uniform for the whole game.  He actually has a chance of looking attractive in it, what with the whole rebelliously open jacket and stylish silver and navy blue color scheme.  His SeeD uniform is too stuffy for his professionally tousled hair, and his adventuring outfit…is so unbelievably bad that I can’t even describe it.  His pants are all bunchy, his jacket is only half length so you can see where his white undershirt is tucked into his belted pants, the sleeves of his jacket are poofy and taper awkwardly at the cuff to his gloved hands–which are black, just like the rest of his outfit.  And to top it all off, he has a gigantic, preposterously dramatic fur ruff at the top of his jacket.  THIS IS NOT FASHION.  THIS IS A TRAVESTY.

I really like the Test option in the menu.  It’s really the best way to earn money in the game–take fairly easy tests to raise your SeeD rank and then get paid more.  Woo!  Nice job, Square.  It would really only work in a game like this one.

I like how all the people hanging out at the “secret area” in the Training Grounds are, like, couples.  Who are having their little moments together.  And then Squall and Quistis stroll in.  Sure.  Like Quistis doesn’t totally want to make out with him.  AND SHE’S NOT A TEACHER ANYMORE, how fortuitous.  I think she had an ulterior motive.  Fortunately, Squall is a lamer who doesn’t care about anything.  The player is saved.

And then you run into Ellone, who is mysteriously wandering in the Training Ground.  GOOD PLAN.  She gets attacked by that big, stupid bug…and I kill it in two hits–one with Quezacoatl and one with Shiva.  That’s AWFUL.  NO one should be able to kill a boss with two hits.  I am far too overlevelled now.

…And it is SEXY.

Well, I am technically off on my first SeeD mission, but since Zell and Selphie are so far behind Squall in levels, I have returned to the Training Ground to bring them up to speed at around level 15.  Good Lord, T-Rexaurs are really good for levelling and learning GF abilities.

But now…I have decided to try my hand at the Magical Lamp.  This could end very, very badly–I am pretty sure you’re not supposed to take this on for a very long time.  So I saved first!  More on this as the battle progresses.

Well.  I won.  Funny story, I have always had an interesting relationship with Diablos.  My first game, the one where I got all the way to the end, I accidentally used the Magical Lamp and happened to win simply because Selphie got The End in her Slots.  Lucky break.  In every subsequent game, I have died almost immediately upon starting the battle.  In the game where I played with no memory card, me being stupid enough to fight Diablos unprepared was the reason I finally ended the game.  This time, I was way too overpowered.  No one even died once.  I lost Ifrit, I think, but that is really it.  …I am horrified but quite impressed.

Plus SWEET, I got Diablos!

Alright, everyone is at least level 15, it is time to run off to Timber.

Unfortunately, it was then that I realized all the monsters outside of Balamb levelled up and had new and better magic.  Stock spamming is much more annoying when the monsters are harder.  But now I have mid level spells, so I am not complaining.  …Well, yes I am.  For whatever reason, Zell keeps failing his draws, so he is lagging wayyyy behind on drawing.  The other party members are just standing around waiting for him to finish his collection of Blizzara spells.  Pitiful.

Okay, finally got to Balamb.  The plot goes on.

Which brings us to tonight’s word: BLACKOUTS.  Specifically the kind that come out of nowhere on a train and you relive the lives of three completely different characters who are junctioned with the same magic and GFs as your normal party.  I ENJOY LOGIC, DON’T YOU?

Anyway.  Timber now.  On the train.  Why is Rinoa’s room so huge?  And beautifully furnished?  They’re on a train.  And I am once again reminded that I love her animations and such, but her actual dialogue borders heavily on annoying.  Redeem yourself, quick!

Okay, I shall stop here for the night.  More to come, as usual.  Zombies, perhaps?  I THINK SO.

More training.  I feel like I should get Selphie and Zell to level 10 before taking on Elvoret.  Ideally, I would train higher.  We’ll see how that goes.  Oh, plus I need to get the compatibility for Ifrit and Quezacoatl higher, since they haven’t been junctioned with Zell and Selphie for long.

Blargh.  Now that I am not drawing magic, training is a little boring.  Summon a GF, kill, find a new enemy, summon the other GF, kill, find a new enemy, repeat ad nauseum.  Ew.  Level 10 can’t come fast enough.

I think this might be the lamest, easiest way of levelling.  I am pretty much just going into a battle, choosing a GF, and then letting things die while I talk to peole on AIM.  I gave up on Boosting when I realized that I could kill things without it in this area.  Lordy.  I will probably level everyone to 15 just because I can while talking.  Is this lazy?  I think it might be.  Furthermore, I can’t imagine any reason that I would NEED to be level 15.  Can you?  I am pretty sure I could destroy Elvoret at level 10.   I feel both ridiculous…and strangely pleased.  I think making this game too easy is some kind of guilty pleasure for me.  That is a little disturbing.

Blargh.  Squall is level 15 and I am tired of training.  I’m going up the tower.  LET’S DO THIS.  LEEEROYYYYY JENKINNNNNNNNNS

Oh right.  Biggs and Wedge first.  YEAH.  It’s so nice that they include them in every game.  Nice throwback to Star Wars, guys.

Okay.  There is something inherently wonderful about taking damage from a boss then turning around, drawing Cure from it, and casting on yourself.  It’s like giving the boss the finger.  I enjoy it greatly.  Elvoret is nice about that–he attacks infrequently then throws an all-party attack at you–the you take the next turn for everyone to draw and cast Cure.  SUCK IT, Elvoret.

Also, HOT DAMN, Elvoret has Double (along with Siren–FUNNY STORY, if you forget to draw any GFs from bosses, you can get them from the endgame set of bosses–but they will still be at level 1…AUGH).  Stock stock stock that Double, that is one very nice spell.  I had forgotten it shows up so early in the game.  EXCELLENCE.

Mmm.  Death on Wheels.  My party is it.  Seriously, that battle was really, really easy.  I think the T-Rexaur was harder.  Disgusting.  Then again, I think it punishes you by giving you no EXP.  UNFAIR, GUYS, REALLY UNFAIR.  I mean, it wasn’t hard, but it took some effort.  I didn’t just stand there.  …I summoned GFs.  HEY, THEY ALL ATTACKED ONCE.  THIS IS CLEARLY HARASSMENT.

Oh right.  And then it gives you 30 minutes to get to the shore.  Plus, as I recall, a gigantic mechanical spider that looks like it wandered out of Wild Wild West comes and decides to pick on you.  I think the game makes up for being super easy by reaming you with time limits and multiple boss fights back to back.  Tricky.  Very tricky.

I do find it odd, though, that they don’t use some kind of different music for minibosses–I mean, even BIG minibosses (there are some crappy ones like the Anacondaur on the road to the communications tower).  This messed up spider-y thing is pretty dang boss-ish.  I mean, it is summoned when you are leaving the tower and it JUMPS ON TO YOU from the top of the tower as you are exiting.  But no.  The normal battle music starts in.  Honestly, I would have gone with the boss music proper.  The fight is pretty important, it is semi-difficult (or would be, providing you aren’t as needlessly overlevelled as I am), and it is unusual in terms of mechanics.  The thing runs after you.  I mean, granted, the music changes as it is following you (one of those songs that is the same when you fight it as when you are running), but the first encounter, I believe, merits special music.

Right.  What.  Okay, when you are running from the big spider thing, right before it cuts to full FMV, you see your characters running down this street and the spider busts through a wall to the right of the screen and starts chasing you.  Alright, cool.  Except that in the last screen you came from, it was just following you normally.  And according to the layout of the city, it just blasted through a BUILDING.  As if it were inside the building.  Correct me if I am wrong, but…doesn’t it seem odd that it when from following right behind you to being INSIDE a building…and there was no evidence of it jumping or moving or MAKING NOISE AND RUBBLE FROM BEING A GIGANTIC SPIDER?

Also, woo Quisis for riddling it with bullets once everyone gets to the beach.  Nothing like a blonde, glasses-wearing babe with a machine gun, am I right?  Of course I am right.  It is only too bad I will never wield a machine gun, in all likelyhood, or else I, too, could pull off that look.

The music in Balamb is so relaxing and nice.  It fits the town very well.  And as far as the graphics go in the town, I truly appreciate the fact that the main street is somewhat blurry until your characters move into that area, which is farther away from the main “camera”.  That’s a nice detail that adds to the atmosphere.  It’s the little things, I find, that really make Final Fantasy games stand out.

…Unfortunately, there isn’t much else to be seen in Balamb.  The Thunder draw point is useless to me, since everyone has 100 Thunder spells.  Whoops.  Back to the Garden I go.  I’ll stick to the roads on the way back–I can train more later, when I have more time.

Well, I am officially a SeeD.  Not much commentary tonight, I must say.  Ah well.  More tomorrow, likely.  Onward to the dance scene and…Rinoa.

Mmm.  FF8 was not meant to be played by 19-year-olds who understand the game so well and have played it before.  I am viciously destroying the junction system right now–I have been drawing and stocking magic in every battle, junctioning Quezacoatl to Quistis (magic user here) so she can junction to magic, and I junctioned Fire so that she can keep the bonus in the Fire Cavern (where she’ll be using Blizzard).  And Shiva is with Squall, learning Str-J so he can junction the magic (that he doesn’t even use) to it and get stronger.  WIN.  Take THAT, system!

Wow.  So I had forgotten out stressful boosting GFs can be.  For one, one is trying to mash that square button as many times as possible, so one is all tense as they PRESS IT JUST AS FAST AS THEIR FINGER OF CHOICES WILL GO (I used to do index, but I have switched to thumb…which may be a bad idea).  Two, it is DEATH to joints.  I swear to God that will give a person arthritis in and of itself.  That’s bad.  Very bad.  …But hot damn is my GF stronger for it.

Seriously, I am kind of a machine at this game.  I am not really trying to brag…but it is a little scary.  I am a bit over 3 hours into the game and I am almost at level 10, my GFs are over half-way through their second ability, and Quistis has 100 Blizzard spells already.  I think this might be disturbing.  I will let the reader decide.  But I will say that this is a pretty good pattern to follow if one is wanting to be ultra-prepared for the Fire Cavern.  Lemme break it down here.

Firstly, junction Shiva to Squall and Quezacoatl to Quistis.  Have Squall have GF, Draw, and Item; Quistis should be Magic, GF, Draw (these can also be reversed for characters, but the set ups with the GFs must stay the same).  Have both GFs learn Boost, and train on the grass until they have learned it.  As you train, have each character draw spells from the enemies (have both characters take TWO TURNS for each spell the first time they see them, then continue this pattern for Blizzard, Fire and Cure–no one really uses Scan, but if you want to keep drawing it, feel free).  Anyway, after the GFs learn Boost, have Shiva learn Str-J and Quezacoatl learn one of his junction abilities (I chose HP-J because I have him equipped to Quistis–and even though she has higher HP than Squall right now, it’s only because she is one level higher, and since she is a girl character she will invariably have naturally lower HP than Squall when they have evened out).  Train on the beach until they have learned this ability–and you might keep training until Quistis and Squall are both level 10.  When training, in order to boost compatibility with GFs (especially Shiva), have one character summon a GF while the other draws spells from the enemies.  It is very important to have many, many Blizzard spells going into the Fire Cavern, especially for the magic user (and once you are unable to draw any more Blizzard, start in on Sleep–it isn’t very useful in battle, but it is pretty decent for junctioning as I recall, at least early in the game).  Then have the OTHER character summon a GF while the last summoner draws spells.  Repeat until you are all finished with GF learnin’ and leveling up.  Once all of this is done, go into the junction menu and equip the following; to Shiva’s user, have your highest offensive magic equipped to Str (since this character cannot use magic in battle, it really doesn’t matter what is here, so long as it boosts strength to the highest it can be) and the next best thing to Spr; to Quezacoatl’s user, have your highest magic that is NOT Blizzard equipped to Mag (probably Fire) and the next best thing to HP.  This should be more than enough preparation for the Fire Cavern (if it is not, I will make a note later)

Notice how the magic user does not have Shiva.  This way, she (or he, if you chose Squall–which is a little silly, since his weapon is stronger) can cast Blizzard on Ifrit and other enemies while Squall (or Quistis, whatever) summons Shiva–the ice-type GF.  BRILLIANT, NO?  I think it is pretty good, at least for quick leveling and preparation.

Anyway.  I will stop bragging.

I feel a little cheap.  After having the GFs learn their required abilities, I returned to the grassy area where the weaker monsters live–specifically the ones I can draw Cure from–to spam stock spells from them while I train Squall to level 10.  That feels like cheating, though it really isn’t.  Silly Final Fantasy 8, making it too easy to get Cure this early.  …Wait, that’s a really good thing.

I wandered into the forest to see what was up and what magic was to be found and I got some Thunder.  That is also a good spell to junction, obviously.  I shall now spam stock it.

Hmm.  I had forgotten how weird and disturbing this caterpillar monster was.  One can’t tell which head is the real one–the one that looks like an actual head bites you, but the one that DOESN’T look like a real head is the one that moves toward you when it attacks–plus when you attack it, that is where the damage counter appears.  I DON’T UNDERSTAND.  This is why I don’t like bugs.

Oh my God, I had forgotten you could run into T-Rexaurs in the forest here.  I like how Quistis screams at you about it.  I’ll see how much damage it does to me, then I will judge whether it is safer (or should I say wiser) to fight and spam stock magic…or run.

Wow, it was probably not wise to fight that, since it did about 100 damage with each infrequent attack, but thanks to GF spamming, I killed it at (get this) 11000+ damage.  THAT IS OVER 9000 HP.  Lesson; do not take on a T-Rexaur if you are not highly prepared with GFs with Boost and high compatibility.  Good God.  Thank the Lord it was worth 500 exp and 10 AP.  That was a level up for EVERYONE, and I am now all set to go take on the Fire Cavern.  FINALLY.

Alrighty, why does Quistis deem it necessary, at the start of the Fire Cavern to ask if you know how to use your gunblade?  I mean, sure, it is good for newbies…but in character?  That makes no sense at all.  Squall has been training with that thing his whole school career, right?  And she asks NOW if he knows how to use it?  I think all this stupid tutorial stuff makes Quistis look retarded.  Seriously.  She is supposed to be a prodigy, brilliant enough to become a teacher at the same age as most of her students.  Why is she asking stupid, pointless questions to students?  Because Square needed a tutorial-mule.  Poor, poor woman.

Oh, I forgot the Fire Cavern was timed.  Well.  Let’s try to kill it in 10 minutes, shall we?  I don’t think I’ve ever actually done it.

Well, that was easy.  I had a little under 4 minutes left on the timer when Ifrit surrendered.  That…is honestly a little terrifying.  But I am also extremely proud, so I shall not dwell on it, except to say that evidently my training strategy detailed earlier is very, very effective.  Feel free to use it to your greatest advantage.  Now.  ONWARD.

Okay, I have to ask.  Why is there a volcanic cave here?  The Fire Cavern is located on the coast of an island on the northern continent (I think–I can’t remember the World Map THAT well, but I think it is northern-ish).  The sprite for it just shows a little…nub, we will say.  Behind this nub is the OCEAN.  Where is this volcanic activity coming from?  The characters do not DESCEND when they enter the cave.  They walk straight in, turn a corner, and BAM there is lava around the path.  That makes absolutely no sense.  I suppose one could chalk it up to it being Ifrit’s domain (though…wouldn’t it seem very bad, then, to take Ifrit away from it? and furthermore, just how many people are going in and summoning Ifrit? can just anyone summon a GF? are there, like, multiples of one kind? and if there is just one that all of them are summoning, what if two people try to summon them at once? I mean, only one party member can summon a particular GF…now I am confused and off topic), but that is flimsy.  This angers me.

Wowwww, Zell.  I had totally forgotten how ridiculous he was.  He gets called over by Quistis and it cuts to a nice little FMV where he is in the main corridor of the school doing some kind of crazy punches and kicks for fun, apparently, then he looks over, does a cartwheel and a few backflips, then lands and GRINS at you.  WHAT.  WHO DOES THAT.  ZELL, NO ONE CARES THAT YOU ARE DOING THAT.  Furthermore, most people don’t even like the guy.  That is a pity.  I think he is hilariously awesome.  He is honestly one of my favorite characters in this game because he is neither boring nor terribly stupid.  Go Zell, you kind of rock.

Squall, on the other hand, is a jerkface.  Seriously.  Dang.

But he is truly no match for SEIFER.  Sweet Jesus, I had forgetton how ridiculous HE was.  He carries on this bizarre charade that he is the top student there, even though he has yet to pass the SeeD exam (I think he has taken it, like, a billion times), and he says he is in charge of this disciplinary committee that, what, bullies people?  I think so.  And he always talks about that stupid list, which I am pretty sure is either one of those hate lists that teenage girls make or a hit list.  Knowing Seifer, it is probably the former.  Why did I ever choose HIM as my crush from this game?  …Probably because the alternatives were Squall (emo), Zell (hyper), and Irvine (…lol).  Honestly…he isn’t much better.  Funny to think that his moniker, the Hyperion Knight (…I can’t remember where I heard that, I don’t think it’s in the game…though I think Hyperion is the name for the cross he wears…which, again, I don’t remember where I learned that), is the basis for my usual screenname, Hyperionwitch.  Hmm.

Anyway, Seifer is ridiculous.  I am glad they made him equally silly in Kingdom Hearts 2.  …Though the gangsta beanie and midriff shirt might have been a bit much.

P.S. What do Fujin and Raijin even do?  Do they even attend the school?  Have they no desire to graduate?  I am pretty sure they just wander around and laugh when Seifer says something “witty”.  Or Raijin makes a fool of himself.  …Or Fujin screams things.  Man, when she spoke at a normal volume level in Kingdom Hearts 2, I was disappointed.  In the game she uses ALL-CAPS.  When characters use all-caps, it generally means they are speaking loudy–perhaps shouting?  And she uses one-word statements.  IN ALL-CAPS.  This is why she’s probably my favorite girl in the game (moreso now that I realize Quistis is a bit annoying–which I think is more evident now that I don’t relate to her on a similar appearance level).  She is hilarious.  …I always secretly shipped Fujin and Seifer ‘cuz I thought it’d be cute if she had a crush on him but could never really bring it up.  Plus Raijin probably adores her, but she beats him up.  WHOOP, fangirling.  Back to business.

And then Robin Williams showed up.  Seriously, why did they make Headmaster Cid look so much like him?  It is almost uncanny, especially since there isn’t much facial detail (okay, there is a pretty dang decent amount for a PSX game in this style) to work with.  That is remarkable.  Good job, for whatever reason you chose that personage.

I also find it hilarious that he seems to be  giving his speech to Squad B only.  Like, are the other squads just…farther away?  Or were they just too lazy/pressed for space to add in the other people?  I find it kind of hilarious.  Plus his speech is soooo annoying when you have played the game.  Blah blah, we have heard this before and cannot skip it.  Plus the music is as repetitive as his hand gestures.  I swear to God he repeats the same motion four times.  Annoying.

Is it sad that I tried to stay on the road while driving the Balamb car thing?  Probably.  It’s harder than you think, though.

SEXY.  The music for the landing at Dollet is GORGEOUS.  I remember a day when I would listen to this music for hours on end…it is one of the coolest and most exciting songs in a Final Fantasy, I think…and my opinion is the same today.  I love it, it’s fantastic.  The way it builds into the keychanges is brilliant and very well done, especially with the somewhat less sophisticated instrumentation.  Ooh, I never noticed that Liberi Fatali melody in there.  NICE, Nobuo Uematsu, very nice.

Ugh, I forgot.  My basic instincts to talk to NPCs at any point in the game is counterproductive in the SeeD exam.  When you talk to, like, ANYONE you get points reducted and therefore your salary goes down.  That is so very disappointing.  Especially since I just talked to three people at the start of the exam.  Bugger.

Wow, thank goodness these Galbadian soldiers have all three elemental spells and cure.  This makes it way easier to spam stock up with all the characters (particularly Seifer, who has no magic at all yet).  Yay easy game mechanics.  Seriously, this is the easiest Final Fantasy ever.

Well, that is done.  Everyone has 100 of Fire, Blizzard, Thunder, and Cure, if they didn’t already.  It took forever, but it was definitely worth it.  Plus Ifrit learned Boost.  Now he can start in on HP-J.

Haha.  I like how the dog howls and that is somehow the signal for the soldiers to sneak…somewhere.  And they look around all suspicious-like…but somehow don’t see the remarkably badly hidden main characters.  And by hidden, I mean they are pretty much not hiding at all.  Seifer is just standing there and the other two are kneeling, I guess so that the fountain will hide them.  But…they are pretty far away from the fountain.  They are visible.  If this were Morrowind the little Sneaking icon would definitely not be on.  Lame.

Haw, nice pants, Seifer.  According to the game graphics, they are up to your ribs.  Stylin’.

Hm.  Level 11 might be disgustingly overlevelled for this point of the game.  I can kill enemies in one hit from Squall.  Now, granted, these soldiers are lame and easy, plus I have a ton of spells and good junctioning.  But still, this is kind of ridiculous.  Worse still, I will likely keep levelling before each boss so that the rest of the game seems really, really easy.   Eh, that’s alright.  Makes it less stressful.

Selphie!  Now there is a very annoying girl.  But for some reason, I find her less annoying than, say, Yuffie.  Perhaps because she is just so annoying and kind of pathetic?  I don’t know.  But I like her!  She sings about trains and has a cute thing going on with Irvine.  That is a-ok by me.

Alrighty.  I got to the base of the communications tower, I shall call it quits for the night.  Lots of progress here, hooray!

If only I could remember what that meant.

Man, the opening of FFVII…is EPIC.  I mean, don’t get me wrong.  I do loves me the FFX opening.  And the FFXII opening.  But man, 8 had it goin’ on.  The song, for one, is just absolutely beautiful and powerful.  I swear, it was the first FF thing I ever heard, and man was it a good first impression.  Plus the graphics.  Dear God, those graphics, at the time, blew me away.  I wanted SO BADLY to play the game–unfortunately, it belonged to my cousin and I could only watch him play.  Which I did.  Frequently.  And sometimes he would let me play–but I only ever got as far as Elvoret and then I died.

Anyway, he later got a PS2 and stopped playing FF7 and 8…and most PSX games.  So I borrowed them and the system from him (I have yet to give them back–but he hasn’t asked, either).  And THAT’S how I got FF8.

But that’s beside the point.  That opening was swiggety-sweet.

After a brief consulting session, I have chosen to play Squall as a jerk when I have the chance to choose responses.  This should be fun–I usually play characters more like I would response–which means the nicer answers.  BUT SCREW YOU, DR. KADOWAKI.  Squall’s forehead hurts.

Good God, I remember when I used to have the opening of this game memorized.  I could recite Kadowaki’s lecture at a moment’s notice.  …That’s messed up, isn’t it?  Seriously.  No one should know the start of a game that well.  …Oh wait, that actually happens to me a lot.  God, I really am a nerd.  A nerd who plays the openings of games far too many times.

And then what’s her face shows up in the Infirmary.  Ellone, I think.  Okay, I don’t remember everything about her, but…it seems odd to me that she should just be chillin’ there, spyin’ on Squall.  I know she has some reason for it, but it feels sooooo out of place.  Maybe if I play the whole game again it will seem cool, but for now it’s like…some kind of creepy stalker wandering around the school.  It’s not like she attends the school.  There is really no reason for her to be here other than for the spyin’.  Doesn’t she get attacked in the training…place later?  I think she does.  She can’t even stay out of trouble.  It isn’t that hard, the garden is gigantic, and Squall is boring as hell.  He pretty much sits around and mopes all day.  Maybe attends class.  Maybe gets beat up hardcore by Seifer.  Maybe ignores Quistis.  That’s not dangerous.

Also, boy howdy does Squall’s face wound heal fast.  Seriously.  I guess it must be healing spells or…potions or something.  ‘Cuz seriously, he is wearing a bandage on his head in the opening, then he leaves the Infirmary and it is gone.  “I AM OKAY GUYS IT IS ALL OKAY”  Right.  Kadowaki is going to kill you.

Just like I am going to kill Quistis.  Well, not quite that level of annoyance.  But I remember when I used to really think she was awesome (I still kinda do).  But she is kind of obnoxious around Squall.  Like when they leave the infirmary and she is finishing his sentences.  Don’t do taht.  That makes the player sad.  Quistis is supposed to be the badass girl character.  Selphie is the annoying, hyper one, Rinoa is the love interest with no personality (though at least she has one–even if it is a little annoying, as I recall).  Finishing the main character’s sentences is not badass, it is not even cute.  It is trying too hard.  Furthermore, I know it pans out to be sibling-esque love, but I smell a bit of the love triangle ala VII showing up here.  Why does the badass girl have to have some kind of thing with the main character TOO?  (Granted, I am of the opinion that Tifa is better with Cloud than Aeris, but that’s beside the point)?  Cheap Square.  I see what you did there.

Haha.  I love how when Quistis calls Seifer out in class for injuring the extraordinarily emo-tastic Squall, he just…slams his fist on the desk.  Wow.  Intimidating.  I know nothing says rebellion like makin’ loud noises with your hands.

Also, how did Squall miss his prerequisite trip to the Fire Cavern?  He said he was gonna go this morning, but then Seifer got all over-ambitious in training and whatnot.  …Shouldn’t he have maybe gone BEFORE today?  I mean, the exam is THIS AFTERNOON.  If this is meant to make him relatable to the player (who is most likely a teenager who ALSO waits until the last minute to do homework), it doesn’t really work.  Squall is FAR too emo to be relatable.  At least not to a normal human being (sorry emo kids; you are aliens).  Plus he never shows any signs of being a slacker elsewhere.  I mean, he is mopey.  But that is mostly it.  He does pretty well in his classes, it seems.  I dunno.  Incongruous character traits = do not want.

Wow, I have been pretty negative in my reception of this, haven’t I?  Ehhh, I blame my need to say anything amusing that comes to mind.  And for the most part, I find critiques more hilarious than compliments.  Sorry FF8.  This may be a rougher ride than I anticipated.

Dude, the Trepies.  That’s…vaguely creepy.  Does she just have fans ‘cuz she’s a prodigy?  I think she did something crazy like become an instructor at 14.  I read it once, but I am way too lazy to go into the game’s “study panel” thing and look it up.  Anyway.  I guess she attracts people ‘cuz she is very talented and cool.  And probably considered a hottie at the school.

I should make a note now of saying I am not going to go out of my way to get all the cards or the items in this game.  I’ll get the GFs as best I can, but…I am not feeling very motivated to do completion on this game, so it is a fairly straight runthrough in order to relive the plot and the various fun aspects of the game.  Got it?  Good.

Theeere’s Selphie.  I wish I could ask for her tour, but…Squall is being a jerk this time, and also I know the place pretty well by know.  Haw.  Also, I am always curious when she says this place is bigger than her last garden…how big IS Trabia?  I mean, you never get to see it ‘cuz they blow it up.  But is it really that much smaller?  I suppose Balamb IS rather large.  Come to think of it, how big is Galbadia in comparison?  These are questions to which I wish I knew the answers, but likely never will.  Sadface for me.

WOO.  I get to sit through the REALLY LENGTHY TUTORIALS soon.  Man, I totally understand junctioning.  I was an expert, but no one else I knew really understood it.  It made me sadface, ‘cuz I feel it was one of the biggest reasons people didn’t like FF8.  When you don’t understand the system for the game, it makes it hard to enjoy.  I, however, really like the junctioning system.  It is kinda cool the way you can assign spells and GFs to people.  Heck, the whole GF system with the ability to learn new skills and such is just very cool.  It was nice to have the summons be so interactive in a Final Fantasy game.  X and XII kinda picked back up on the interactive by letting you use them in battle as a party member (X especially, since it did the whole teaching spells and new stats thing), but VIII always had the really interesting one, in my opinion.

OH WAIT YOU CAN SKIP THE TUTORIALS.  WICKED.

And so begins the training.  Boring stuff, but that’s okay.  It must be done for the sake of SCIENCE.  No wait.  Not dying against Ifrit, that’s what I mean.

Well, Quetzacoatl and Shiva have learned Boost, and I have drawn SO much magic.  I think I shall call it a day for now.

Chances are you were linked here from my main WordPress page–or maybe my FF7 blog.  So as you might expect, yes, this is a blog of my replaying of Final Fantasy VIII.  It was my first Final Fantasy, and I still really like it.  Plus I had the urge to play it again.

Now I know what you’re thinking.  “But you never finished your FF7 game!”  Yes.  I know that.  But as any proper gamer will know, when you get burnt out on a game, nothing in the world can make you want to play it again.  You will mostly hate the experience if you try.  So I am taking a break from FF7 to try my hand at FF8 for a while.  It should be a good time.  Especially since, like, no one likes FF8.

But I do.  So on with the show (after I do some page editing, haha).